the inevitable hurt. it always rains

my heart aches. there is, once again, a profound absence from a farewell.



it rained today. it always rains








and why am i surprised by this? i ask my self. this has been the case in the history of all my "goodbyes," and yet, i keep replaying all of those goodbyes over and over and over and over again. with the hope that maybe, just maybe i will finally exhaust all of them. and here i am, once again, sitting in an empty room on my bed, making the big hurt even bigger. lately it seems that hurt, is inevitable. i search for the words, but my vocabulary is so very limited- too limited to express adequately, just quite what my heart is feeling.

 who the hell knows what their heart is feeling, anyway? i sure don't. i never do. but here i go. preparing to head to a hotel that holds more inevitable hurts; as i am destined to meet more absolutely beautiful people, who will once again, unintentionally, break my heart with another goodbye.


one day i will be the one who leaves. i will fill someone with a profound absence, as i will have experienced many times over. though, i beg that when i leave, it doesn't rain.



it always rains








i should rather the sky be blue and the sun shine brighter on that day. that's what i want when i leave- the sun to shine bright, consuming the hearts of those i love with light. not the darkness that results from melancholy, as i have experienced many times over. rather, i wish that those i love, see my parting as just that: a parting destined for a coming of together again.



no matter how many miles may separate me from the ukraine,
know that a home you have made here- i reject the title orphan.
you are not without a mother, father, brother, and sister.
 no- there exists an "i" and a "love" and a "you."

me, i love you.