on inspiration-

this post is a bit different from the usual; after a conversation with my kindred, i had these words in my head and i cannot seem to escape them. i'm not sure how they will play out, seeing my thoughts usually move faster than my fingers, but it's nearly 1am here and i won't be able to sleep with them on my mind. so i resolve to release the following meditation.

lately, i have been thinking about movement in a new way. more specifically, the motivation behind any given motion. because my current home is quite the distance from campus, public transport has become a norm in my days. if you would have told me two weeks ago before i arrived in sunderland, i would discover new methods of choreography by simply watching the interactions on a bus, or the absence thereof- i couldn't possibly have comprehended such a notion. though, i wouldn't have doubted you.

in reference to her current work for one of our university's major fall dance performances, kels said, "but it's the mummy complex- i want it to be what i leave behind so i want it to be so, so, so good." as natural and raw and beautiful as her confession as a choreographer was, it got me to thinking about the oddity of my current bus rides through the city. instead of wanting to be seen, i find myself trying to fade into the background in a most peculiar way. almost as if i'd like to be invisible. flashbacks of former years in my life occur, and i realize what i am doing. i am reliving past moments of anonymity, but in the present. 

there. right there is where the inspiration lies.

that one moment of realization, of sheer existentialism. of being known by your very own being. grasping the hand of humanity by merely looking into a reflection of your own humanity. there is the epitome of creativity. of mummification. agnes de mille wrote, "to dance is to be out of yourself..." 

out of yourself. but how?  how do you climb out of your own existence?

if my morning bus rides through the city have taught me anything, it is to step outside self. and you do this first by recognizing the very same self. not by an attempt at anonymity. 

you must fully embrace your existence. or in your case, kels. your story.

 "a fresh pair of eyes"- how appropriate a title. this piece we had an honor of dancing in, meeting each other in...this was merely the embracing of an existence. an existence that was almost erased. magical really. it still gives me chills when i think about this time in our life.