things i could never tell you now because we've become estranged.

your name echos in my thoughts
like a recording
i cannot press stop

even in your absence
you are present
and
i want you
the weight of your heaviness

after all this time
i can still taste you
and

i miss holding hands
your hands
only yours
and

i miss the sound of my name on your lips
your eyes stuck on mine.

this morning
i spoke your name out loud
as i locked my door

you always said i'm good at locking things
yet i cannot seem to lock you out
of my heart
so

i hope you read this
because
you are in my thoughts
on my heart

every day
every minute
every hour
and

i want you
i miss you
i still love you
you
and
only you.